and yet…

 

Isn’t it funny how when you are walking the path the Lord has for you, the devil swoops in and does everything in his power to make sure you don’t give God the glory for your life?

I wrote this blog almost a month ago when God did something awesome. But I didn’t post it.

Why? The devil convinced me not to.

But as I struggle from day to day, I am reminded of my last blog and the verse I spoke about there:

(Psalm 143:5)

“I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.”

My blogs are ultimately a tool for ME to remind MYSELF of all He’s done. Because it’s so easy to forget. It’s so easy to get swept up into the difficulties of now and settle into the despair, instead of looking above and ahead to the hope that is promised to us.

So here goes.

I pray that if you’ve ever believed a lie from the enemy, this “And yet…” will help you as it helped me.

————————————————————————————————————-

I have a confession to make.

I don’t acknowledge my sin as often as I should.

I have confession to make.

I don’t often reveal the complete weight of my sin to other people. I like to keep some details to myself.

I have a confession to make.

I spend most of my days questioning why anyone likes me and enjoys my company; because I know myself and I suck.

I have a confession to make.

I don’t think I’m worthy.

Today [September 26, 2015] God crushed me. He likes to do that from time to time. I wish He’d do it more often than He does.

It was one of those moments where the pain and weight of everything you’ve been running from just hits you, so you collapse to the floor and cry as the waves of pain hit you over and over again.

But today I realized something.

I was crying out to God to help me, to save me from myself. To draw me close again, to draw me in; despite my walls, despite my pushing Him away. I wanted Him to fight for me. And the lies from the enemy told me I was unworthy. Why would God save me? I am a sinner. I suck. I am distant. Why in the world would I think I was worthy of having the God of the universe come save me?

And then the Spirit intervened. And He said: “You are all of these things, and yet, you are worthy.”

And yet…

There are so many things I could put in front of those words. I am a sinner. An adulterer. A manipulator. I am prideful. I am selfish. The list goes on and on. However, the sentences don’t stop there. There is always a ‘but,’ there is always an ‘and yet.’ And the words after that always remain the same.

“You are worthy.”

I am a sinner, and yet, Jesus died for me.

I am a murderer in my heart, and yet, I am worthy of His life.

I completely suck, and yet, I am called by name to be His.

and yet, I am beautiful.

and yet, I am washed clean.

and yet, I am deserving.

and yet, I receive blessings.

and yet, He still chose me.

and yet, He still chooses me.

and yet, He still fights for me.

and yet, I am worthy to be loved.

And yet…

And yet…

And yet…

I still struggle with this every day. It’s been almost a month since I had this revelation, but I still struggle to believe it, as we all do at some point during our walks. And that’s why preaching the gospel to yourself every day is so important. Because ultimately, we aren’t worthy. We deserve wrath and punishment for the sins we commit each day. That’s what we deserve, and we know it.

But God says, “You deserve my wrath and punishment… and yet, I sent my Son FOR YOU, so that you are made worthy.” So He gave His Son, to accept the wrath and punishment WE deserve, to protect us from ourselves. So we could be washed clean. So that we could come into closer communion with Him. So that we could have eternal life when we know Him.

(John 17:3 & 14-17)

“Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have given them Your Word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; Your Word is truth.” 

It might still be a struggle, however, there is hope in the battle because our Savior has won the war.

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