A year ago right around this time I was in Atlanta for company-wide training. It had just hit me I no longer had anyone above me in-market. That I was responsible for leading a team, a position I never desired or wanted. I never wanted to lead a city. A year ago I was crying in my hotel room asking God, “How am I supposed to lead this team?”
A year ago I was still obsessed with the charismatic part of my relationship with the Lord. I idolized spiritual gifts and didn’t know how to connect or relate to people who weren’t like me.
A year ago I sucked at budgeting, didn’t understand money, and had no interest in saving.
A year ago I still had a hard heart and often overlooked God’s presence. I was held in bondage to idolatry without fully knowing it, and lived in fear of disobedience to God.
A year ago, I still manipulated the truth to not reveal the depth of my sins.
Today I have successfully, for the first time in Philly, been part of retaining team members in our city. I have successfully taken on more responsibility than I ever wished for, but have delighted in the growth it has challenged me in.
Today, I have been in the Word of God more than ever before. Seeking His knowledge, wisdom, and guidance, without assuming I know the interpretation, or tacking on “So that must mean,” or “The Lord said.”
Today, I am so in love with budgeting and saving money that I enjoy helping others try to get a handle on their finances too.
Today, my heart aches and breaks more often than I’m used to. Sometimes because of trials and pain, but sometimes because I am overwhelmed by God and the hope He provides as He moves mountains.
Today, I live in freedom within the Lord. I have confessed the depths of my sins, and I pursue the discipline of righteousness. I am on a different path then before, and I live in hope, awe, and excitement of what’s to come and where He’s taking me. I have more discipline. More grace. More abundant love. A different kind of joy. One that runs deep.
Today, I have different dreams, desires, and a new heart. Today, I am more confident, free, and content in the Father. Today, I am a fighter who trusts, knows, and believes the Lord has it all in the palm of His hand. That when I lay my desires and dreams at His feet daily, He takes them up and bears their burden for me. He moves the pieces in just the right ways so that I have nothing to fear.
Today, I am so excited to see what will happen. Because if He can do all that in a year – if He can move mountains and surprise me even within the past two months – how much more can He do in three months? Six months? A year?
Anything can happen.