Lately I’ve been thinking about what I’d want to say to my daughter as she waited for her husband. What I’d want her to know or learn. How I’d hope she’d live her life, not wasting away, but living fully.
So I started to write her a letter. But this letter can be for all of us living in the waiting.
As you wait for your husband, don’t forget to be yourself. Live your life to the fullest. Don’t live cautiously as you “wait” for him to enter your life. “Waiting” is not that same as “not doing.”
What are you passionate about? What are your dreams? Desires? Hobbies? What are things you’d love to do in life? Something as silly and simple as getting a motorcycle license. Even if you never take a motorcycle out onto the road – you just want to take the classes, learn, gain knowledge, and get the license – just to say you’ve done it.
Live. Do those things. Don’t stop living just because you are “waiting.” Don’t be afraid that you’ll “miss him” if you are off doing things. Don’t you want a man who does things too? Wouldn’t you want him to be living a life full of adventures right now as well? Adventures you get to join in on once you meet him? Live.
And when you meet someone, please oh please, don’t change who you are for them. Growing and learning because of them is different than changing for them.
Do not lessen yourself, change the desires of your heart, or drop everything to be with them. Especially if it has to do with your relationship with the Lord. Your identity is who God declares you are. Do not change your relationship with Him to be with him. We might plan our paths but God directs our steps. He knows where He wants to take you, and He wants to be the center of your universe. When you keep Him there, He will bring you another him.
If God has not given you another “him” yet, pray for him. Not out of frustration or anger [although if you feel those things, that’s okay too. God is a great comforter and companion in all seasons of life], but out of the knowledge that God is at work in preparing your husband, just like He’s at work in preparing you for your husband.
If you haven’t met him yet, it might be because God is still ripening him to be exactly what you need, when you need it. His timing is perfect. He doesn’t want to give you a rotten apple. He wants to give you the freshest, ripest, fresh-off-the-tree apple.
He is not withholding to punish, He might be withholding to protect you from someone who is not ready to meet you yet.
And dear daughter, as much as I love you, you are not perfect yet either. God still has work to do in you before He can gift you to your husband. He does not want to give your husband a rotten apple either. Isn’t that incredibly loving of our God? He wants to give us good gifts. He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts. And if you are not yet a good gift to give to your husband, the Lord will protect your husband from you until you are ready. And He does the same in protecting you from your husband until he has ripened.
And I know the desire of your heart is not to settle for someone you will need to accommodate for, or settle on, or change everything in your life just to be with.
Don’t throw away all those things you love to do, just because you love someone that is fleeting.
If you love the Holy Spirit then love the Holy Spirit. He is a living and breathing Someone who is part of God. Jesus told His disciples He needed to leave them so the Spirit could come – and that was far better than Him staying. He is good and directs your life, so don’t shy away from Him. And the man you marry will be directed strongly by the Holy Spirit too, and he’ll be excited to share how he is being led just like you will.
If you love to travel then travel. Because you know what, your husband might love to travel too. And you might meet him in Spain, or France, or the Philippines, or Africa. Or maybe he’s travelled to all those places too, and you both can’t wait to get back or see new places.
If you love to run and exercise or dance, go. Do those things. Sign up for those races or dance classes and do them.
Live life to the fullest while you are being patient.
Daughter, don’t forget to humble yourself as you patiently endure. Don’t forget to treat others with kindness and love. Do everything without selfish ambition or deceit. Love others in words and deed. Put others before yourself as you enjoy their company and go on adventures together.
Get up early and have a brunch with some girl friends. Ask that friend to go to the mall with you to help you shop for a bachelorette party. Ask for prayer when you need it and even when you don’t.
Be bold. Be strong. Be adventurous. Be silly. Laugh. Be humble. Be patient. Pray consistently. And never stop moving forward.
When the timing is absolutely right, in a way that you could never design or imagine yourself – the Lord will reveal the man you’ve been hoping for to you. And he will fit your every want and desire you knew you needed/wanted, and he will also fulfill countless things you didn’t even know you wanted or needed. God is just that good.
And then together, you both will get to continue living life to the fullest.
Because life doesn’t start once you meet him. Life began when you entered the world from the womb. Life continues whether you get married or not. So live. Live abundantly. Live, and don’t regret.