Not going to lie, I have this awesome dream that my husband and I will meet because he boldly gets up on a stage one day, or boldly approaches me, out of obedience to the Lord and a prompting from the Spirit so strong he can’t ignore it, and speaks truth into me in such a specific way, that only the Lord could have given him the exact words that would speak to my heart in that moment.
I’ve been at a High School conference in Kansas City called “Challenge: Bold Moves” all week.
So of course it’s crossed my mind at least once, “Lord it could be here, that’d be awesome. And it could happen just like this.” And I’d imagine a specific scenario in which everything plays out perfectly in my mind.
Obviously, that has not happened. And I’m not exactly bummed about it – the six months of intentional singleness has done me well – but I haven’t stopped from asking, “Why haven’t you done it yet?”
Last night, it all made sense. Last night, I said to my Father, “I get it now.”
If you know me you know I love the Holy Spirit. He is our direct route to speaking to our Father in Heaven, and He delights in speaking back to us. How could I not love the being in which the Lord and I communicate with one another?
In the past I’ve always felt the Spirit in a tangible and significant way. Something felt strongly different, and I could tell it was the Holy Spirit.
But something has shifted recently. I’ve started to act on thoughts that don’t “feel” the way they used to. But they are positive, align with biblical truth, and usually involve prayer.
And every time I’ve done that in the past few weeks, the Lord has shown me that this is what it means when the Word says the Holy Spirit is living within us. That it doesn’t mean we just tap into Him whenever we feel like, He enters in and does something, then leaves. It means He is living within us, at all times, in all ways.
I have been blown away by how powerful this is.
I have never felt more secure in the Holy Spirit and the Lord than I have this past week.
- I have been prompted to get to know worker’s names here and develop sweet relationships with them.
- I have been prompted to strike up a conversation with my Lyft driver, which I’ve never done before, just to ask him about himself.
- I have been the sounding board of fears and doubts and insecurities, and the Lord has given me the exact words to say for their ears.
- I have been prompted to speak truth into people’s lives and the words are not my own.
- I have been learning to pray before I respond when someone asks for advice or my opinion, because I don’t want to respond with my words, I want His.
- I’ve been learning what it looks like to fight for people and act on it immediately.
- I’ve unashamedly worshipped, without a care in the world because my God is worthy of all praise.
- I have been the person girls have confessed their deepest and darkest secrets to for the first time, ever.
- I have been prompted to run across chairs during worship to scream into someone’s ear, “This song is for you, sing it for you.”
- I have felt launched into a new ministry, and feel like I understand more of what God has been preparing me for in ministry.
And ultimately, I’ve just been learning what it feels like to act in immediate obedience to spiritual promptings, that don’t *feel* like spiritual promptings, but I’m starting to learn, they are.
And what I realized last night was – “God, I get it now. If you had brought my husband into the picture leading up to this week or during this week, I would’ve been distracted. I wouldn’t have been able to give my all to You and these students. I wouldn’t have been as open and available to You so you could work through me and use me for Your glory. I get it now. It would’ve been too soon.”
I felt such peace in that understanding. The Lord withholds for His glory, because ultimately, He knows the perfect timing. And there’s still more for me to do. I wouldn’t have been launching into something new if my husband had been brought into the picture in poor timing.
If the Lord brought my husband into the picture tonight or tomorrow, I’d know it would be the perfect timing to come alongside me in my ministry and help advance the Kingdom. Because I now trust, more than ever before, that His timing will be absolutely perfect. But until then, I’ll continue living in the Spirit’s promptings and being open to what the Lord wants to do through me, and how He wants to use me.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.