This might be a tough one to read, but I really encourage you to think over these words and ask yourself – are you the wicked one? So often when we read about the wicked or stories in the Bible, we say “That’s not me. I’m not that character/person.” But if we take a step back, sometimes we realize, we are.
I was definitely that person (and of course still can be). And I am so thankful for the Lord’s justice in redeeming me from those evil ways.
The other day I was catching up with a sweet friend from the World Race, sharing what had happened with life since I last saw her. A huge part of my testimony now, is the year 2017 – because so much bad happened that year. From January 1-December 31, there really wasn’t much good.
So when I said “Yeah and then after I confessed everything to my sisters, they all abandoned me. They sided with him. Which makes complete sense – he was the victim, they were friends with him first. So they purposefully excluded me and never checked in to see if I was okay. But that was my punishment, abandonment.”
She gave me the weirdest look. Probably because I was so calm about it, and said it without malice towards those friends (restoration and redemption by the power of Christ is real ya’ll! There has been much freedom and forgiveness since then).
She almost tried to debate me on me declaring that abandonment was my punishment, but then sat back and said, “I don’t know the details.”
So I thought about it. Why do I say that I got what I deserved in that season?
“Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.”
Scripture. That’s why I said that about myself. And that’s why I believe it too.
Over and over again the Bible says we reap what we sow and the wicked will be punished for their sins. But if you’re like me, I never think I’m the wicked one.
Until one day, I was.
These warnings aren’t meant to condemn or terrify, although they do put the fear of God within me now. But it’s done in a healthy way.
For so so sooo long in my life. I lived as though nothing could touch me. I could outrun God’s justice forever and never really be punished for my sins.
Until one day, it all caught up to me. And while it resulted in the hardest season of my life, it was also the most glorifying season for the Kingdom.
I have been forever changed because of God’s justice. In the most God-glorfying and praiseworthy way. I will praise Him forever for that hard season.
I have been purposefully excluded, overlooked, not protected, not loved, and completely abandoned. All of which I have also, at some point in my past, chosen to do to others as well. I got a full on dose of myself, and because of that, I walked out of that horrible season neverrrr wanting anyone to be treated the way I once treated others, and was treated myself.
Life is a lot happier and joyful now that I treat others with the love and grace and mercy that the Lord showed me when I was in the depths of my sin and the pit of despair.
Because of that season of life, I do not, and will not, ever, take those around me for granted.
You’ll see me captioning pictures or using the phrase “protecting/protector/protect” a lot. I do that because of that season of life. I felt vulnerable, and just desperately needed and wanted someone, anyone, to protect me. To choose me.
Since then the Lord has provided me with so many gracious, loving, protectors. They are wonderful humans.
This weekend was filled with lots of those people I know would protect me at all costs, and I don’t take them for granted.