Father God, destroy in me the eyesight of comparison.
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Never again do I want to look at another woman and compare her body to mine. Compare my body to hers. Never again do I want such negative, unhelpful thoughts to enter my mind.
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I want to look at her body, my body, with awe and adoration. I want to only see the beauty. And never, ever again, see any flaws, or make any comparisons. Comparisons to myself, or against myself. Because you don’t make mistakes. You make beauty. And I never again want to allow the evil one to try and put a wall between me and that beauty ever again.
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Father, you are a miracle worker. You are a healer. In Jesus’ name, heal my eyesight, so that when I look upon others, I only ever see beauty.
My quarantine goal — to come out with stronger faith than I have right now.
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My last blog post “Fear of having faith kills dreams,” describes how fear of praying for the wrong things can kill our faith and dreams. Because it renders us silent and paralyzed in fear, rather than running to God, even with the wrong things.
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I used to run to God with everything. No matter how big, small, silly, crazy, ridiculous. I believed He could do it all because of who He is. And I was right.
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But at some point idolatry crept in, and that fear has rendered me silent for a very long time.
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I am determined to return to my place of steadfast and confident faith. I want to believe, without shame, that my God is who He says He is. That He is bigger than I could ever dream up or imagine. I want to return to the place where I watch as God does immeasurably more than I ask for, just because I asked and He is good.
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It’s a daily battle. Because I’ve let fear and shame rule my prayers (or lack of) for so long.
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So coming out of quarantine, I want to be a different woman. One who radiates faith for all to see. One who goes back to being able to share testimony after testimony of how God went above and beyond my prayers, yet again.
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Father, lead the way. I trust you. Surprise me.
I’ve decided I’m an art collector now. There’s just something about @kaitlynheriford.art paintings that tell a story. My story.
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When I was scrolling her limited edition April collection today, these two caught my eye.
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The one on the left made sense to me. It spoke beauty from ashes and a growing and strengthened bride of the Lord. It spoke radiance.
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But the one on the right, I couldn’t quite pinpoint why it stuck out and what it was saying to me. So I purchased the one on the left, deciding I didn’t need two.
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Hours later I wanted to see how her collection was doing (idk, I’m weird like that and get excited for people as things sell out), and the one on the right was still available. I kept looking at it and finally it made sense.
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The two paintings belonged together. They both told the story of my life right now. The one on the left the growing bride of Christ, and the one on the right — the representation of a muddled life I should be living right now.
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It sounds weird, but for months now I’ve felt like I’ve been looking through a plexiglass wall. I’m living my current reality, but I get this sense that it wasn’t actually supposed to be my current reality. That the life on the other side of the wall is actually where I should be right now. But something happened, something out of my control. Something filled with lies and doubt and clouds of confusion. Something that the Lord is trying to write through, but something else temporarily won.
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I can’t really describe it, but I see both lives so clearly some moments. I’m sitting in church and I vividly see what it should’ve been — so clearly it feels like a memory. And it keeps happening.
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So these paintings belong side by side. Because both are my present reality. They’re just writing different stories. But in Jesus’ name, they will become intertwined again like they were always supposed to be.
Let’s talk about Joseph for a second and his loyalty.
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The man finds out his fiancée, his future wife, cheated on him with another man and was pregnant. A crime punishable by death via rocks being thrown at you until you died. His future wife under Mosaic law should be killed for her sin.
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But instead of gossiping, running to everyone else to tell them about her sin, instead of slandering her name and making sure she got what she deserved — he was unwilling, UNWILLING, to put her to shame. Instead, he chose to remain silent and protect the person who betrayed him by divorcing her quietly, so no one would find out and harm her. By exiting the scene, quietly.
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Can you imagine a world, a friend, a companion, who was so unwilling to slander your name, to shame you, that they chose to remain silent and just remove themselves from the situation quietly so as to PROTECT YOU from the harm of others. Are you kidding me?! What a man! What a friend! What a companion!
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We live in a world where the second someone harms us, we run to every other person in the world, except the person who harmed us. We run and gossip and slander and hurt, because we ourselves have been hurt.
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What if we decided we were unwilling to do so?
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The story, of course, ends with the Lord coming to Joseph and revealing that everything he thought about Mary, was actually not true. Yes, she was pregnant, but not by another man. She had in fact, not betrayed Joseph at all, but was bearing the burden of growing the Messiah inside her.
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How many times have we been hurt by something we thought was true, slandered someone’s name publicly, never once talked to THEM about it, and was later informed, we had it all wrong.
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Which brings up another question. What if we chose not to run, and instead, chose to forgive and fight for restoration with those who have harmed us.
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Man. I pray I can be like Joseph.
Dear Children of God —
Imagine you are a real life prince or princess. Really, imagine in. You are true royalty and live in a castle. Your father is the king and everything the light touches is his, and yours.
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As a child of the king, you can ask him for ANYTHING and it can be yours. Anything in the world. What would you ask for?
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Now, he’s still your father, so he might say “no,” but it is out of his love and desire to protect you, that he sometimes gives you a “no.” But you know that if he wasn’t trying to protect you, he COULD give you everything you’d ever want and dream, because you know the power and authority he holds over his kingdom.
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So, why not at least ask?
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Isn’t it incredible that this is the reality of our relationship with God?
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He is the King above all kings, and everything the light touches is His. We are His beloved children, whom He delights in giving good gifts to. He has all power and authority to give us everything and anything we could possibly want, dream, or desire — but because He loves us and desires to protect us, He sometimes says “No” as a loving Father should. But our reality, is that because we have access to our Father, we also have access to anything and everything that is His. Wow.
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How amazing it is, that we have direct access to this type or royalty. And we did nothing to earn it.
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New blog post is up about how “Fear of having Faith, kills dreams.” Link in bio! 👆🏼
I’m someone who likes routine. But I’m also someone who likes the routine to change so I don’t get bored.
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I’m constantly trying to find new ways to make my Jesus time more intentional and consistent. I go through seasons where it’s easy and seasons where it’s hard.
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I’m coming off a season where it’s been hard.
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So today I decided to start a new routine that excites me so I can find my rhythm again.
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A few years back I did the words of 2 Peter 1 each month — Faith, Moral Excellence, Knowledge, Self-Control, Patient Endurance, Godliness, Brotherly Affection, Love for all. It was a really healthy, intentional, eye opening 8 months for me. So last month I decided to start them up again.
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Next month (April) is Knowledge, but I decided to start a few days early because of this new routine I wanna try.
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I also decided to crack open a new bible because as of this morning... I have 19 😬 and my goal before I die is to completely read the entire New Testament in each of them.
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The Bible I picked is one I had @biblesandcoffee paint because I needed to claim freedom over that specific bible and season of my life. I’d like to redeem it further.
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The checklist I’m using is in the back of my favorite journals from @growthrootsco.
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Let’s dive in ☺️
